Wednesday, September 18, 2013

To Judge is to Put a Lock on One's Soul

Recent events have forced me to review my life and how I live it. How I treat people and specifically if I judge people. 

We all have expectations of how we should live our own lives. Sometimes we think that others should align themselves to the way we think and feel. 

This is not real life. We are all multi-dimensional. We think and feel so complexly and we all have our own specific dreams and realities. To think that we know others realities and to judge them fairly even if you feel you are close to the person through friendship or family is naive, at best.

It took being judged this way to open my eyes and make me realize that I need to evaluate how I feel about others. That this feeling about them is their face value. They are so much more.

Think about it.

And while you are thinking about it, note the flow of your inner dialogue. How many times do you hear other people as they are thinking something through.  People choose to share information about how they feel with you based on their relationship with you, their comfort level around you and also sometimes out of necessity. 

People's outer appearance and demeanor sometimes may mislead you. You may not know that they suffer from lonliness, 
unhappiness, anxiety or worse. On the contrary you would be surprised when a person's slightly even facial expressions defy the well-adjusted happy person who resides inside. This is the hallmark of the introverted person. 

Sure there are loads of books out there concerning body language and often times you can get a vague reading on someone's mood, their aggressiveness or passivity. Experts have learned that if you take on a certain stance of a person you are conversing with, that you are comfortable with that person. In other words, you are aligning yourselves with them in a sort of copycat comradery.

Despite all of this knowledge you feel you have of a person, and who or what you feel they should be, they are on their own paths. When you judge other people you are diverting insecurities you have about yourself into distaste for another person when it is often more about you and what you are not dealing with.  We need to accept that we have made a mistake and move on. Life is a lesson that we have at our disposal to expand and grow. To learn how to love, then to learn how to love bigger and better. 

Don't think another bad thought about a person again, instead turn that thought into a wish or prayer for happiness to them. You will reap the rewards of good will and you will fill yourself up with lightness and happiness drawing positive and like-minded people to you. True happiness is a like a beacon. Learning to live happy is a lifestyle choice. 

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